My journey dealing with secondary infertility in this crazy fertile world.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hope Floats

Well, called my doc today, but they said they probably wouldn't have the results till tomorrow. BUT...I actually feel like I started to experience some symptoms. So, hope floats.

I went to breakfast with a friend home for the holidays and all I could even attempt to eat was oatmeal. I couldn't even fathom looking at sausage or bacon.

Then when I went to my Mom's to celebrate our Christmas dinner, the smell of the garlic bread/lasagna kind of turned my stomach.

I leave tomorrow to go to my husband's family home to celebrate Christmas there so I hope to hear by the time I leave.

I am trying REALLY hard to not dwell on this. Easier said than done. So instead, I am going to respond to a tag by Elaine at

Thanks again for all the prayers. I think they're helping!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

So much...yet so say

Ah...where to begin? First of all, I truly hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I really thought with my recent good news of a BFP that this would be a fabulous holiday. I did still try to enjoy it, but I was having some early pregnancy issues. Without going into a super long story, I thought I was miscarrying on Sunday. When I called the doc., they just said to take it easy and get off my feet. Which made it difficult to take in all the Christmas happenings. Basically I had some spotting/cramping in addition to absolutely zero pregnancy symptoms. Although the spotting subsided I still called today. They repeated my blood work and I guess I will know tomorrow how my HCG levels are going. I hope and pray that it is up.

We wanted to tell a few close family members on Christmas but decided against it due to the circumstances. Why is it that people who have had to deal with any sort of infertilty issue can't just enjoy a pregancy. I mean, I am only 5 weeks. I have only known for 1 week and I have worried pretty much every second. So I am asking for a few more of your prayers and well wishes. I really hope that you all had a Merry Christmas and I am praying for all of us/you to have a baby filled 2008.

I will update tomorrow! Thanks for your continued support!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Christmas Miracle

First of all...thank you so much those of you who have given me so much support over the last 2 days as I have been waiting. It means more than you know as my husband and I have decided not to share our news with anyone IRL.

It has been a wondeful day filled with great news. :) I called my doc this morning after I couldn't take it anymore. The nurse said my levels were good. I regret that I didn't get the exact number, but it was good enough that I don't need to repeat the test. Also, my P4 was good so that I don't need to use the suppositories.

I am still in shock and have to keep pinching myself. Ironically, this happened right when my doc said I had to take a break from the meds. We had already scheduled a SA and a lap. It truly is a Christmas miracle. Please send as many sticky vibes as possible. Right now I am going to try to think positive and enjoy this as long as I can. I hope that is for 8 more months.

Merry Christmas to you all and the Happiest New Year filled with BFPs for all!!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007


As those of us who have experienced infertility know, life is a lot about waiting. Waiting in the 2ww, waiting for test results, waiting for a new cycle. You get the point. WEll, right now....I am waiting. I wasn't even going to post, except for the fact that you wonderful supporters who read/comment on my blog may wonder-what is up?

My day...cliff notes version so don't worry!...began with the continuation of bad weather. However, I did get a HPT and POAS. It was positive which made me very very happy. BUT, I wasn't surprised due to being late. Also, I think that I am so jaded that I know that a positive test doesn't always mean a baby. Obviously, at this point I am super thankful and hopeful.

So, I called the docs office and they wanted me to come in for a beta and progesterone test. I was really hoping for results today, but no such luck. I truly hope I find out early tomorrow morning. They said depending on my levels will determine whether or not I need to repeat the beta.

My main worry...I have no symptoms. Zero, nada, zilch, zippo. So, for now...I will still wish, hope, and pray for a positive outcome. Either way, I will blog tomorrow night. I hope it will be with good news, but if not then I could use your support. I know soooo many of you have gone through this. Thanks for your well wishes. YOu guys are awesome!


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Cautiously Hopeful....

All I can say is that AF was supposed to arrive on Friday. It is now Sunday night and still no sign. Trying not to get too excited....

Unfortunately we are dealing with a weekend snow/ice/etc. storm and I have not left my house to get a HPT. No, I don't have any laying around b/c when I do have them....I use them obsessively.

I will be calling my doc first thing tomorrow to ask for a blood test.

More to come. It is either going to be a FABULOUS holiday, or a letdown.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The appointment

As you know, I was really looking forward to the appointment w/ my doctor yesterday. Well, I am slightly satisfied with the outcome. At least I feel that there is some sort of forward progress. Doc (I'll refer to his as that from now on) said that I have to take a break from the fertility drugs as it is not good to be on them continuously. We talked about a lot. Doc strongly suspects endo. When he noticed that it took me 3 years to conceive my son, he recommended doing a laporoscopy (spelling!). Also, my husband is to have a semen analysis done on Monday. He was NOT too happy about this. I will save that story for a post all in itself. He was not exactly on board with doing an IUI yet. It was an emotional day, but amazingly I got through the appointment without crying. I am sooooo tired today due to an emotionally draining night, but I wanted to update on the appointment. I know you have all been on the edge of your!

I can't believe less than 2 weeks till Christmas!!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Infertility EVERYWHERE...seriously!

So as I am in my 2ww, I am trying to focus on enjoying the holidays and not obsessing over when my period will come. Again, I am not too hopeful this cycle and instead I am just looking forward to my dr appointment where I can discuss the whole IUI option. As I am trying to not ~obsess~, it seems that infertility is everywhere.

Yesterday, when I came home from work, the tv channel happened to be on Dr. Phil (who I never watch) and sure enough it was about infertility. Then today I was watching my tivo'd episode of Private Practice which had a couple dealing w/ if and getting an iui done. Signs???

If it isn't infertility, it is a friend/family member/associate etc. telling me that they're pregnant. I know that you all understand how old that gets. Obviously, I am always happy for them, but it just is a little reminder that we can't all be so lucky.

Well, it is midnight and I have to work tomorrow morning, but I wish you all a peaceful weekend.

Monday, December 3, 2007

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year....sort of

I seriously can not believe it is already December. So much to do, so little time. I actually LOVE this time of year. Although....when my husband and I started TTC back in January, I truly believed I would have a new baby this Christmas. Silly me...even thought about skipping trying in Feb. so the baby wouldn't be born right around Christmas. Oh how I miss those innocent days.

I am still so blessed b/c I do have another precious son. (I realize that I hardly write about him. He is absolutely the love of my life and I would love to write about him everyday. I do, however, realize this is a blog about infertility and I am fully aware that people do not want to read about my child.) I really hope and pray that next Christmas there will be a new bundle of joy. For me and for all of you!

So, one week from tomorrow is my appointment with my dr. to discuss the next step. I am still looking forward to it. I have been saving up for an IUI and hope to go that route. I know in the scheme of infertility treatments an IUI is nothing, but still gathering a thousand plus dollars isn't exactly simple with our current financial situation. Obviously, totally worth whatever cost though.

I have been keeping up with the blogs that I read, and I know that this is a difficult time for so many of you still hoping for baby number 1. My prayers are with you as the holidays seem to sometimes make the sadness stronger. I have been in your shoes. Also, my father had a heart attack on December 23 and died January 8. Although this happened five years ago, the holidays can be hard. I always try to focus on the ~true~ meaning of Christmas and it helps.

I will keep you posted on my appointment. Remember: He is the reason for the season!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Happy Over the Hump Day!

I haven't written in awhile as there has not been too much "news" on the TTC front. I am currently on cycle day 13 and definitely believe ovulation is in my near furture. Of course, I won't be seeing my husband til Sunday. Sooooo......I guess I will just look forward to my appt. on Dec. 11 to see where I go from here.

I am actually getting quite excited for Christmas. Unfortunately, I do not have one decoration currently up although it has been on my "to do" list since Thanksgiving. My days have been busy, but it seems like nothing ever gets done.

I have still been keeping up on the blogs I read. Thanks for those of you that read mine and especially for the encouraging comments. :)

I will try to be ~better~ about writing, but something exciting has to happen first.


Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I feel as though I rant, rave, and vent a lot on my blog about things that "annoy" me. (for lack of a better word.) In reality though, I really do have a lot to be thankful for. I know I shouldn't just count my blessings b/c of tomorrow's holiday, but of course it definitely helps.

Sometimes in the midst of all my ~fertility~ issues, things happen that make me feel so blessed. I am truly thankful for so many things in my life. I am also thankful for this blog and the people that it has connected me with. It is nice to have interaction with others that understand.

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Goodbye Chlomid

Well, I called the doctor today as I always do when AF arrives so I can refill my prescription. Today, the nurse said the dr. would want to see me this cycle which is always thrilling for me. I always hope he has some magical answers or a special pill that I can take and ...poof!....pregnant! He never does! Anyway, the nurse ~implied~ that this would be my last month on the fertility drug and we would discuss what to do next.

I have mixed feelings about this. I am glad to get off the drug, don't get me wrong BUT...what if I don't ovulate. I am glad to move on to something else...BUT what? A different drug? An IUI? I am going to try REALLY HARD to not obsess about this appointment til it comes on Dec. 11.

For now, I am going to focus on this cycle and hope for a miracle BFP for my Christmas present!

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Blah! Pretty much how I feel. Not really even in the mood to blog, but hoping that my ~ranting~ on here will help me to not take everything out on my husband.

First of all, period is here. Not that I didn't expect it, but still depressing each time another month goes by unsuccessful.

Secondly, Hurt my back at work. Badly. Lifting a child. Lots of pain. Enough said.

Those are the 2 main complaints, but it really just seems like everything is just blah right now. Everything else is just little so I am just trying to let it all go and try to enjoy this wonderful holiday season that I usually love.

I need to remind myself to be thankful for all the blessings that I do have!!!!

So tired due to the pain medicine and have to get up super early tomorrow to play bells at church. Question: When do I get to sleep in? Answer: Not any time soon.

Night Night!

Friday, November 9, 2007

4 Things About Me....

I have been tagged by Elaine at to do this and it sounds like fun!

Four jobs I have had in my life: (obviously I am not too diverse in this category!)
1. Teacher
2. Day Care Provider
3. Substitute Teacher
4. Student

Four Movies I have watched more than once:
1. Wizard of Oz (I'm obsessed!)
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Beaches (When I need a good cry)
4. Wedding Crashers (When I need a good laugh)

Four TV shows that I watch faithfully:
1. Gray's Anatomy
2. American Idol
3. Dancing With the Stars
4. Oprah (Well, I tivo her everyday and decide if it is a topic I am interested in)

Four Places I have vacationed:
1. Hawaii (cruise to all the islands)
2. Disney World (over a dozen times...LOVE IT!)
3. Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas
4. Niagra Falls

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chips and Salsa (but I love all Mexican food)
2. Broccoli Cheddar Soup from Panera
3. California Roll sushi (love Japanese and Chinese food too!)
4. Greek salad

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In my bathroom viewing a BFP (lol!)
2. cashing in a winning lottery ticket
3. on an amazing stress free vacation
4. out with a bunch of old friends

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. Getting off of my fertility drug (and moving on to something else!)
2. Christmas :)
3. Getting pregnant (hey, a girl can dream)
4. the birth of my best friend's baby (her last one was 3 months premature)

Four hobbies I have:
1. Scrapbooking
2. Singing and playing bells in church choir
3. Selling Tastefully Simple products
4. Blogging and reading blogs

Tag to anyone reading this, but it may just be Elaine. It was fun anyway!!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

All is calm...

I know I haven't written in awhile, but sadly it is b/c I have nothing to write about.

I was still a little upset that my last appt with my doc had me continuing on with the chlomid and nothing else. I am soooo ready to either add something or do something else like an iui. he wants me to officially wait a year. so, anyhow...i am pretty sure this month is a no go.

I am still over a week away from a visit from my least favorite aunt. (you know the one...starts with an F and ends with an O) DH and I most definitely missed our window. I know my most fertile days are days 12-15 as I usually ovulate between day 13-14. Well, my husband and I were on completely opposite schedules and were not able to BD those days. We even tried once at 2 am when he gets home and once at 7 am before I went to work, but honestly...we were just too tired.

I am a little disappointed as I feel as though we "wasted" a month. I keep reminding myself the usual.....just put it in God's hands. While I have a lot of faith...that is easier said than done. There are so many things in life that you can work towards and accomplish if you put your mind to it, but with infertility you truly do not have control no matter what.

So, for now I wait to try again in December. Not exactly the usual 2 ww. To boot...I think I have a UTI. ugh! Anyway, I continue to read and keep up with all of your blogs and wish baby dust on all of you.


Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

I can hardly believe it is Halloween already. I was really hoping to be pregnant by this time (like most of us) as we started trying back in January. To be honest, when we first started...I was hopeful that I would have a baby by Christmas. Ahhhh, to be that hopeful and naive again.

So , tomorrow starts a new month. A month dedicated to being thankful. The month that kicks off the holiday season (i.e. the best time of the year!) I am going to continue to focus on what I have to be thankful fo and ~try~ not to be so darn negative!

Good night and hope you all get lots of treats and no tricks!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Life is Precious

Tonight was just a little reminder that we aren't in control of everything. Those of us experiencing infertility are pretty aware of that already. BUT, you never think that a simple trip to the mall could be so.... scary.

Cliff notes version to make a long story short. Tonight I was at the mall and it just so happened to be "trick or treat" night there so there were a ton of adorable costumed kids. Right before 6 when it was set to begin, everyone was told to quickly evacuate from the mall. No reasons were given but moms and kids all started running for the exits. It would be hard to write in words that would make anyone understand how scary it was. Later it was determined that it was a bomb threat. What kind of crazy world do we live in?

I am exhausted from the stress of the night. I was grid locked in the parking lot for an hour as ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars kept flooding the area. So many scenarios were running through my head. The little lesson I have learned is that I need to thankful for the things I do have and appreciate them instead of dwelling on things that I don't have. (BFP)

I need some sleep. Sweet dreams to you all!

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Bachelor

Leave it to me to find a life lesson within a reality tv show. (fyi...i am addicted to tv)

As I was feeling sorry for myself dealing with all the fun things that come along with a period, I realized something. I was watching all these (pathetic) girls who are so wanting to find love. Many of them appear desperate even. Then I related to how most of us here in the blog world are desperate (and often pathetic) to get that bfp. At least we have won half the battle. I can't imagine not having my wonderful husband to share this journey with.

I am actually doing a lot better today. I called my dr so that they could call in my prescription. I wanted to add a "Ha Ha, told you I wasn't pregnant." but figured it might be mildly inappropriate.

I went over my friend's tonight to watch Dancing With the Stars and she is about 5 months pregnant with number 2. Her first is only 17 months old so she will definitely have her hands full. I was able to be happy and excited for her instead of focusing on my disappointment. I even talked to her alittle about my infertility issues. She was supportive and although this baby was conceived naturally, she had to have 3 iui's to get pregnant with her first daughter.

My new mantra; when it is meant to will happen. God has a plan and He will decided when it is right for me to be pregnant.

Good night!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

It's Here

Simply's here. My period. Af came right on time. No time to even get hopeful as she wasn't even a day late.

Although I tell myself not to get my hopes up, it is always a disappointment. Can't even call it a BFN b/c I never even got to test.

Needless to say, wasn't the greatest weekend ever. I will write more this week when I am up to it but wanted to give a "heads up" to my (few) loyal readers. I truly appreciate your support though. As I have said before, I am not too upfront with my friends and family about my infertility issues so this is my venting forum.

P.S Go Steelers, we were losing but have a chance now!

Friday, October 19, 2007

My (pointless!) Appointment

I had my appointment today and I can honestly say it was pointless. When I called last month for them to call in my chlomid when my period came, the nurse said the dr would want to see me on day 28 this cycle. Today was actually day 27, but obviously he isn't going to see me on the weekend. I didn't even go in an exam room. They just ushered me to his office where we talked for less than 5 minutes. He told me my progesterone level was 21. (Good I think.) He is pretty confident taht I am ovulating and basically wants to keep my medication and dosage the same. That was pretty much it. At one point he made it sound like he was going to try something new or give me more options, but then said..."I think we will keep this up for a few more months." He gave me a speech about how many couples take up to a year (we're on month 10) to get pregnant and that is completely ~normal~.
I hate how I got my hopes up that this was going to be some miracle appointment. Who in their right mind looks forward to a dr appointment? (Unless you are pregnant and are going for some reassurance). BUT...I really looked forward to this one. ?????? Don't know why. Maybe I thought he would have some new method that I haven't tried yet. At any rate, it was totally pointless. As I left I said, "I'm sure I'll be calling on MOnday so that they can call me next prescription in when my period comes." He said, "Maybe you will be calling to tell us about a positive test." Somehow I am pretty sure that I am right in this case!
Well, I wish everyone a nice relaxing weekend. I am HOPING my period doesnt come, but I have refrained from ~wasting~ a test b/c I don't think that this is THE month. If it doesn't come by Monday I will definitely test! TTFN!

Sunday, October 14, 2007


I am so tired that I couldn't even get creative to think of a "clever" title for this post. I literally worked everyday this past week (Mon thru Sat) at the day care. It was a lot of work and I am not used to getting up so early and being on my feet all day. Also, I am taking care of my neighbors pets which was a lot more work than I bargained for.

I know I am down to a 1 week wait, but feel nothing. My doctor appointment is on Friday, but for the life of me...I am not sure why. It will be cycle day 28 (usually when my AF visits) but since I am being monitored, he wanted to see me THAT day. I had my progesterone blood work done Friday so I assume they'll just give me the results then.

I dont' work as much this week, so I will be glad to catch up on sleep. I am still trying to be hopeful, but with my last pregnancy I had symptoms by this point. Baby dust!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Working 9 - 5....What a way to make a livin'

So, I just got a new job. I have not been working for awhile, but with all the infertility costs, money was getting tight. I knew I needed to get a job and I am unsure what to think of the one I got. I am now a care provider at a day care center at a gym. Sounds fun, right? It is, but...there are pros and cons. Pro: I get to hold babies and it reaffirms my desire to have a baby. Con: I get to hold babies and it reminds me of my desire to have a baby.

I heard that today's Oprah was about infertility. I didn't see it but I did Tivo it and can't wait to watch it. FINALLY! I always wondered why she hasn't done one sooner.

I guess I am officially in the 2ww, but I don't have a good feeling about this cycle. My husband and I had some timing issues during the "peak" days. It is a possiblity, but this month I am not sure when I ovulated. I get bloodwork done this Friday to see if I even did ovulate. I guess they'll check my progesterone levels.

Good luck to all!!!!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Rainy Days and Mondays....Always Get Me Down

Not too much to write about on the infertility front as I am only on CD 9 and waiting to BD days 10-20. Doing surprisingly well considering even more friends have recently announced their "buns in the ovens." Found out SIL is having a boy, ex SIL also a boy, and best friend is having a girl. These three are all due within days of each other in February.

In laws were here for a visit, and because I have a Halloween ghost w/ a baby ghost hanging on my door, my mother in law asked if I was trying to tell her something. She really wants another grandchild and often hints about it. I was like, "No...I am not pregnant!"

Got asked to be in a wedding. Not one of my favorite things. The wedding is June 28 which is apparently about 9 months away because the groom ran into me today and said..."Don't plan on getting pregnant any time soon." Ummmm....okay....! Only people who suffer from IF can understand the annoyance that a comment like that brings. Like I can just plan out when/if I am going to get pregnant. And as if I am going to skip a cycle or two because of someone's life. I think not.

Sorry, just had to vent about some of the fun comments I dealt with today. In reality though...I know that someone people are having much worse days so I need to stop complaining. Let October be the month of BFPs around here. BABY DUST TO ALL!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Just another Manic Monday...

Sorry! The Bangles just popped into my head. Well, AF definitely reared her ugly head last night. Blah Blah Blah....called the dr. to get my prescription called in.....Blah Blah Blah....they will do bloodwork day 21....Blah Blah will see me on day 26. The usual.

Again, I am going to focus on other things this month. My husband and I decided we would try for another 6 months and then take a break for awhile and see what happens.

Probably won't write for awhile as I try to engage in other things during the next couple of weeks, but I will still be reading the blogs I keep up with and hope to read about some BFPs!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Back to Square One

I hate to say it, but I was starting to think pregnancy just might be possible. That crazy thing that we all do during the 2ww where we start to ~imagine~ symptoms. I was definitely doing that this morning. I even had a dream about being pregnant. Probably because everyone I know is pregnant. Well, at least it feels like that.

I had some cramping this am and was sooooooo hungry that I thought I would die. So, on the way to church we went to McDonalds and I started to let my mind wander there. Sure enough, had to go to the bathroom at church and wiped only to see some spotting. What an ironic place for that to happen! At least it helped to remind me that this whole process is part of God's plan!

I guess my "symptoms" were just PMS symptoms. Ugh! Back to square one. I am truly dreading taking the chlomid again. Even though it is just 5 days...the side effects are not fun!

My period hasn't gone into full force yet, but I have certainly been spotting all day and it is progressively getting worse. I am sure tomorrow AF will be here in all her glory. And to think, I was going to POAS tomorrow. I guess I saved 10 dollars. Lol! (Hey, if you don't cry.)

Anyhow, thanks for your prayers and well wishes. Especially thanks to Elaine at who has been my biggest supporter. :) The best thing about this site is that it helps to put everything into perspective. When you start to think that you have been dealt the wosrt hand ever, someone else's story reminds you to be thankful that you are even in the game.

For now, I will try to enjoy the next 2 weeks before I am ~waiting~ again. Hugs to all!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The final days are the hardest

Well, I believe that my period is due on Tuesday. I guess I could probably take a test, but I'd rather keep hope alive as long as possible before the dreaded BFN! I really do no think I am pregnant, but every once in awhile I think I imagine symptoms. When I was pregnant years ago with my son, I literally knew a week before my period was due because I had so many symptoms. People always say to me "every pregnancy is different." But....we all know how comforting those cliches are.

I have really kept myself busy, but I am trying to remind myself the "pros" if I am not pregant. Stupid things that will just help me not feel sad at another failed cycle. I read a really interesting post last week written by Her post was entitled secondary vs. primary infertility. I got me interested in her blog. She wrote an entry yesterday that really helps me to get this whole ttc thing in perspective. It was about how TTC is/was taking over her life and she was forgetting to enjoy the other important things in her life. How 2 weeks out of the month are lost to either sadness or craziness. Makes me want to try harder to not focus so much on this aspect of my life.

Well, I will keep you all posted. I write this as if there are tons of people reading this, but in reality I only know of one person who even looks at my blog. (Thanks Elaine!) At least it as a way for me to journal this experience and it truly helps me to get out some of the crazy emotions I go through.

TTFN! ta ta for now

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Explanation of Dates

Hi any readers...I had a blog on another site and transfered all of my previous entries after a friend recommended this site. The posts that are all dated for September 19 are actually from August and September of this year. I should now be current with the posts to come.

One Week Wait

Since my dreaded 2ww started last Tuesday, I guess I am officially down to a 1 week wait. Not much to write in terms of what I am thinking. I really don't feel any symptoms nor do I have a "feeling" that I am pregnant. Also, I don't want to get my hopes up. However, I am keeping a positive attitude and trying to stay busy so I don't dwell on it.My lkp was Aug. 27, so I assume my period is due anytime between September 24-29 depending on my cycle being 28-32 days. I want to wait before testing, but I always say that and test early only to get a bfn! Tomorrow is the 20th so hopefully this week will fly by.Keep your fingers crossed for me and send any baby dust that you have laying around. Lol! I will write again soon.

I ovulated!

The ultrasound was yesterday morning. I have to admit I was quite nervous that I would be told I had a ton of cysts or some other major issue because I have become accustomed to getting bad news. The sonographer (is that a word?) isn't really allowed to give you any medical info, but she did say that it appeared as though I had already ovulated. That is good, right?It always scares me when they start asking a hundred questions. It makes you something abnormal? She didn't tell me anything bad, so I am taking it a positive scan.Now I guess I am on the dreaded 2 week wait. Fortunately, I am busy during the next 2 weeks so that should help. Also, I am finally at peace with this whole infertility thing. I am trying to put it in God's hands, and not stress out so much. Maybe that is part of my problem...By the way, I am sure I have mentioned that my bff is about 4 months preggo with number 2. I just found out that my other really good friend is pregnant with number 3. I did find a way to be happy for them both though!

Spending Labor Day Wishing for Labor

So I had more pain on my right side last week. I broke down and called my gyne, but the nurse there basically said not to worry. Easier said than done! The pain persisted so much that Saturday night I ended up in the emergency room. They had me so scared as they rolled me down to ultrasound to check for an ovarian torsion. Luckily, but not so luckily, I just have cysts on ovaries. Good and bad news at the same time. At least it wasn't the torsion that would require surgery.Came home Sunday afternoon and was vomiting but figured it was due to the pain meds. By Monday I was projectile vomiting along with other symptoms that I will leave to the imagination. Back to the hospital I went since it was Labor Day. I was severely dehydrated so they gave me an IV, but I felt this visit was pretty inconclusive. They speculated about several reasons for the pain and sickness, but I am still unsure. I am definitely feeling a lot better. I hope it wasn't the femara that caused me to become so violently ill. I doubt it will even work this month due to the fact that I threw most of it up as well as they cysts. Oh well...I have an u/s scheduled on Tues to check for ovulation. I will keep you posted.

Infertility Roller Coaster

The roller coaster continues. Since I am on the femara, I had to go see my gyn/ob on day 21 for an exam and my progesterone bloodwork. My appointment went really well. He did an internal (ugh!) and said my cervical mucus looked good. He even used the word "promising" this month. I tried not to get my hopes up, but you know I did. I had absolutely zero pregnancy symptoms though.A few days later the office called w/ my bloodwork results. My progesterone level was a 24 which was great! That also made me hopeful that this second round had worked! I waited till day 25 and took a test. Big Fat Negative...of course. I was still thinking...mabe it was just too early.So day 28 came and still no period. Another test, another negative. Day 29...ditto. Day 30....repeat. Day get the idea. Finally day 32 I called my doc. I knew from my bloodwork that I ovulated, so they were going to do a lab pregnancy test. Well, needless to period came that night.So now, I am officially on cycle 3 with the fertility drugs. This month they are sending me for an ultrasound on day 14 so I will update on what news taht brings. I fear that I will be diagnosed with PCOS. I have always suspeted I had it, but I guess we shall see.


So it has been a couple of weeks since my last (also first!) entry. I was shocked when I logged on today and saw 12 views and a comment! Thanks!Well, I had an appointment with my gyn/ob (whom I love by the dr ever!) on Friday, Aug. 17. Since I am on the femara, he wanted to check me on day 21 before sending me for my routine bloodwork. He actually said "things look promising this month." I tried not to, but got my hopes up. Today I took a test even though I really didn't have any symptoms. Needless to say...BFN. It is day 26, so there is a twinge of hope left but it is quickly fading. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My very first entry!

I never really pegged myself as a "blogger." I have been so obsessed recently with my own infertility that I have spent hour upon hour reading about others going through the same thing. I really can't complain too much because I have been so blessed by having a son who is now 16 months old. I have been TTC #2 for about 8 months. Infertility is awful whether it is your 1st, 2nd, or so on, but I am so glad that I get to enjoy my son while going though the ups and downs of infertility. While searching for information on my treatments (femara right now) I have learned all the TTC (trying to conceive) lingo. It is like its own little language. I am constantly amazed by the number of people who are in the same boat...searching for that elusive BFP (or big fat positve on a pregnancy test). Right now I have just finished my meds on days 3-7 on my cycle and will see what happens this month. Baby dust to all!