worst. mom. ever!

went to dinner with the family....my 3 year old was being his usual self which led to him falling straight back on his chair at the restaurant. he cried, i held him...all was fine. fast forward 4-5 hours where he starts vomiting in his sleep. i think possible food poisoning or stomach bug. it was ~different~ though, but i couldn't put my finger on it. next morning after some much needed sleep led to a little clarity...i REMEMBER the fall and realize he quite possibly has a concussion! awesome mom that i am didn't even put the two together. after a frantic call to the dr i am quite certain that he did in fact have a concussion, but thank GOD...he seems fine. we had to wake him every 2 hrs last night and will continue to watch him the next few weeks. all i could think about was that natasha richardson who died a couple of days after her fall. i really feel like the worst mom for almost missing this!

Wow....I suck at blogging!

Anyways.........it has been an interesting month, again! I think I last left off after having my gall bladder out. Which followed having triple hernia surgery. Which followed my c section. Yeah, 3 surgeries in 5 months. Good times. My poor baby is now 7 months old. Where does time go???? He is doing great, thank God! I, however, was back in the hospital last week with a blood clot from my last surgery. I feel like Nancy at thenewlifeofnancy.blogspot.com where everything seems to go wrong. I agree with her though. Give the problems to me-not my children. Wonderful Elaine w/ her beautiful baby boy wrote me a comment checking on me. She is so sweet and SHE is the one w/ the newborn and checking on me. I am so happy for her! Check out her blog at myprayershispromises.blogspot.com

Hugs to all cycling right now. I need to check up on my blogs and see where everyone is! Expect some comments from me soon!

Done...hopefully for good!

Had my surgery and spent 3 days in the hospital. Longer than I even did with my c-sections! Feeling ok, very tired though. Hoping this is the end of a long battle of being in pain. 3 surgeries in 6 months has taken a toll on my body! Ready to start feeling better and enter the real world again!

Tomorrow is the day

So, having my gall bladder out tomorrow. Dreading it and nervous as Hell, but hopeful that I will be feeling better afterwards!!! Ugh!

Guess What!

Sorry to disappoint you if you thought it would be good news. I have still been having serious pain even after my hernia surgery. They had me go in for an ultrasound of my gall bladder, and sure enough, I have a bunch of stones. So...I need my gall bladder out. I know that surgery is not that big of a deal. BUT...it is my allergy of anesthesia that throws a curve. They are going to discuss my options with me this week. When will I feel better and be able to enjoy my kids? I feel so bad for Carson. I have been sick almost his whole 5 months of existence. I am not asking for a pity party. I am just so frustrated and verging on depression.

Still Recovering

It has been 2 weeks since my hernia surgery and I am still recovering. Let me just say that it is quite difficult not being able to lift your children when they are as young as mine. So...there have been people "helping me" almost everyday and I am getting tired of always having visitors. I do appreciate the help but look forward to being "normal" again. Go Steelers!

TRIPLE HERNIA SURGERY!

Did that catch your attention? It has been the week from hell! Although I would never trade my baby, I must say that it was my pregnancy that gave me these 3 holes in my abdomen. Surgery was pretty bad and I have a nasty vertical scar to prove it. Had a hard time coming out of anesthesia which bought me a longer stay at the hospital. Then had a brief trip back to the ER due to an allergic reaction to one of my various meds! Now I have a rash and can't feel my lips, and I am unable to take my pain killers or antibiotic since they aren't sure WHAT I am having the reaction to. Just gets better and better. Surgery was Monday. Can't believe it is only Saturday. LONGEST WEEK EVER! This is way worse than a c section (of which I had 2), and at least with that you get a baby. I hope I can feel my lips tomorrow...

Happy Baby-filled 2009

2008 was just great for me! I was pregnant most of the year and had baby Carson in August. It was a joy to ~celebrate~ Christmas this year instead of the worrying I did last year being that I was newly pregnant.

As 2009 approaches, I have new goals. I know that I am done having children so I want to focus on getting myself back in shape and taking better care of myself. Unfortunately, that begins with a double hernia surgery on January 5. A joyful bonus from my pregnancy!

It is thrilling that so many of my blogging buddies are currently pregnant, so I look forward to you all giving birth and experiencing motherhood. Some for the 1st time and others for the 2nd or 3rd. Those of you still TTC...I wish you lots of luck and sticky vibes this year. 2009 will be the year of the baby!!!

What a difference a year makes!

Merry Christmas everyone! After reading someone's blog, they commented on how different what they wrote this year compares to last year. This prompted me to look back to my Christmas post of 2007! I had recently received my BFP, but was having some cramps and spotting. I now vividly remember that I was just "blah" on Christmas thinking that I would be having a miscarriage any day. I didn't "enjoy" the most wonderful time of the year...even though I had what I wanted most-a BFP!
This year I did enjoy Christmas! With my toddler and now 4 month old baby! I really don't know where the time goes!!! Makes me want to slow life down a bit. In fact...we did nothing today but enjoy our family. No driving around to see a hundred people feeling stressed. In fact, I took 2 naps!!!!! I rarely get even 1! Then I read that a fellow blogger passed away (Lemondrops) and I was terribly saddened by this. Affirms my wanting to slow life down philosophy! She also had 2 beautiful little boys. My heart aches for her family. I lost my Dad around this time several years ago!
As I said at the close of my post last year...I hope the next year is full of babies all around. I am excited that ~many~ of the blogs I read include several pregnant women. A few of whom are nearing the end of that LONG 9 month journey. Ironic part is, although you want to speed up those 9 months, once the baby is born-you want time to stand still! Happy Holidays all!

A year ago!

WOW! Where has time gone? It was a year ago today that I found out I was pregnant with my precious little Carson. I can hardly believe I am sitting here typing as an almost 4 month old baby boy is sleeping. It honestly feels like a month ago...not a year! I feel so blessed again this christmas holiday. Last year I was so blessed to find myself pregnant and was wishing and hoping all would be ok. For those of you that are pregnant, may you have a wonderful christmas preparing for your babies. Those with new babies I am sure will enjoy their first christmas through the eyes' of their children. And, those of you still TTC....I truly hope for you that this christmas or even 2009 brings you the one "gift" that you really want. Happy holidays to all!

btw...

By the way, I have removed a chunk of blogs from my "favorite blogs" sidebar. That is b/c I am now a follower of those blogs and get a reminder when they post something new. Just in case you were wondering!

Amazing Giveaway from a great blogger!

http://averittbabyjourney.blogspot.com

Go to this blog and not only will you find an amazing new blog to add to your list, but she has outdone herself with a fantastic Christmas giveaway for her 100th post!

Ahhhh....

Ahhh...it is 9 o'clock and both boys are actually sleeping. We have just recently moved Carson to his crib which is in the same room as Cooper. Carson is now 3 months old and he will ~usually~ do a stretch from 8pm-2 am. Then he eats and sleeps till about 6. My biggest fear is that he will wake up his brother who won't be able to go back to sleep. This is the third night and it is going ok...not great, but ok!

Since Carson was in the NICU at birth, he never latched on for breastfeeding. For 3 months my life consisted of pumping every time he ate so that he could have breastmilk in a bottle. It made for a lot of stress. So, I let my milk dry up. Then this whole melamine thing came out. I was not a happy camper to say the least, and thought of attempting relactation, but decided against. I swear it is always something!

I am having hernia surgery in January from a double hernia that was an added bonus from my pregnancy. Woo hoo! Not excited about that it all. I already had 2 c-sections, and now I am having a 3rd abdominal surgery. Ugh!

Just realized it sounded like I was complaining a lot. Really...life is pretty good. I count my blessings everyday. Even though I still believe being a stay at home is super hard, I am happy to spend the time with my beautiful boys. I am really looking forward to Christmas. Now...if I can just get at least one gift bought, I will be happier!

Thanks!

I know it sounds weird, but I was so excited to have 6 comments! After being gone so long....I felt as though everyone would forget about me. You guys are awesome. So, as promised...it motivates me to blog more.

I really just don't know where time goes. Knowing FOR SURE that Carson will be my last baby, I want time to slow down and enjoy every minute. I still can't believe Cooper will almost be 3. It is so fabulous that most of the blogs I followed/follow were all ttc the same time as me. I had that major guilt feeling when I got pregnant and most of you were still ttc. Now, most of you I can happily say are nearing the end of your own pregnancy and it is just thrilling to follow. For those of you still trying, I have faith that you will get your very own BFP!

I will definitely blog more about my upcoming hernia surgery which I am dreading. I also have questions for those of you with little ones of your own. Happy Weekend everyone, and thanks again for reading after all this time! XOXO

I'm Ba-ack

Thank you for all who have "checked in on me" over the last couple of months. Life has been INSANE to say the least and I just could not fit blogging in. I have, however, been reading lots of blogs so I am still following all of you. Elaine...I love the name. My first son's middle name is Mason. :) We always have so much in common!

So, Carson is 3 months old today to be exact. It feels like he was born yesterday and a year ago all at the same time. It was also almost exactly a year ago that I conceived him. Where does time go?

I plan to get back into blogging mode b/c I have so much to say. It has been a rollercoaster of a ride, that is for sure. To top it off...I am having hernia surgery in January. A lovely parting gift from my pregnancy.

I hope I still have some readers left. If you do still happen to read me, drop me a one liner and I want to start adding all the blogs I follow to my BlogReader.

XOXo

Home

Carson is finally home from his stay at Children's Hospital with pnuemonia. It was a very trying time for me. I am experiencing "baby blues" and I am not sure if it is due to the pregnancy or the enormous amount of stress I am under. The night before we picked up our baby from the NICU, my husband was playing with our 2 year old. He tossed him on the bed. He landed wrong and broke his leg. He is in a full cast. So I am dealing with that, the stress of having a newborn, and trying to heal from my c-section. My husband is gone for 13 hours at a time, so I am basically alone. I do feel overwhelmed. Now, my toddler is sick with a bad cold. I am praying so much that the baby doesn't get it because I don't think I can handle anything else right now. Thanks for keeping all of us in your prayers! You all continue to be in mine although I haven't had time to write or comment much lately. xoxo

NICU

well, sorry i haven't written. thank you so much for your wishes and prayers. carson was born on monday morning at 9:12 am. i will post pics when my husband can help me. after a few hours they realized he was struggling to breathe. the day got worse and worse. after entering the nicu, they kept giving me updates (while i was an emotional wreck for only seeing him a few minutes). after 5 hours, they decided to transfer him via ambulance to our children's hospital about 45 minutes away. it was such a horrible an emotional experience. meanwhile, i had to stay at my hospital to recover from my c section. they let me out early (on wednesday) and we went right to the hospital. we have been traveling back and forth several times a day to see him. we live an hour away so it is a lot of travel time. we also have a 2 year old that we are desperately trying to not leave out. he is not allowed to see his new brother since he is in the nicu, so doesn't quite understand what is going on. the baby is doing better. i have heard so many different diagnosis, but a common one is that he has pneumonia. he has been getting antibiotics twice a day. they even had an iv in his head! it is horrible to see your newborn with so many tubes and monitors. i will continue to update as i have time, but please continue to keep us in your prayers. we need them more than ever! i am so thankful for the nicu nurses. i always read the blog of "searching" and now i see how important and special your job is! people are really thankful for you!

Off to the hospital...

Well it is 5 am on Monday morning. The big BIRTHDAY. No, not mine. I have waited 39 weeks and 3 days in addition to all the cycles of TTC. Wish me luck and please keep us in your prayers. I will update as soon as I have access to a computer, but unfortunately that may not be till I am home!

3 More Days!!!

Not much to report b/c I am getting so anxious and I am trying not to dwell on it. My c-section is scheduled for this Monday the 18th. I have been tired and obsessed with cleaning. I hope to report good news soon upon my return from the hospital next week. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks everyone!

Frustrated

I haven't been posting much b/c I feel like I am just waiting. A quick update...I was BACK in the ER for a 3rd time on Monday. It was for breathing problems and chest pains. They thought it was asthma but couldn't rule out a blood clot so they had to do a CT scan w/ iodine. I was hysterical. You are talking about someone here who won't even take tylenol for fears of hurting the baby and now I have to undergo radiation. It was a horrible and emotional day, but thank God I didn't have a blood clot! Today was my weekly check up. I am still not dilated and the baby hasn't even dropped. Dr. considered moving up my c section date to friday the 15th which would have thrilled me, but after the not so promising internal he decided to keep monday the 18th. needless to say, i was disappointed. i guess i will spend the next 10 days waiting and nesting. enjoying reading about all of you though!