My journey dealing with secondary infertility in this crazy fertile world.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy Baby-filled 2009

2008 was just great for me! I was pregnant most of the year and had baby Carson in August. It was a joy to ~celebrate~ Christmas this year instead of the worrying I did last year being that I was newly pregnant.

As 2009 approaches, I have new goals. I know that I am done having children so I want to focus on getting myself back in shape and taking better care of myself. Unfortunately, that begins with a double hernia surgery on January 5. A joyful bonus from my pregnancy!

It is thrilling that so many of my blogging buddies are currently pregnant, so I look forward to you all giving birth and experiencing motherhood. Some for the 1st time and others for the 2nd or 3rd. Those of you still TTC...I wish you lots of luck and sticky vibes this year. 2009 will be the year of the baby!!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

What a difference a year makes!

Merry Christmas everyone! After reading someone's blog, they commented on how different what they wrote this year compares to last year. This prompted me to look back to my Christmas post of 2007! I had recently received my BFP, but was having some cramps and spotting. I now vividly remember that I was just "blah" on Christmas thinking that I would be having a miscarriage any day. I didn't "enjoy" the most wonderful time of the year...even though I had what I wanted most-a BFP!
This year I did enjoy Christmas! With my toddler and now 4 month old baby! I really don't know where the time goes!!! Makes me want to slow life down a bit. In fact...we did nothing today but enjoy our family. No driving around to see a hundred people feeling stressed. In fact, I took 2 naps!!!!! I rarely get even 1! Then I read that a fellow blogger passed away (Lemondrops) and I was terribly saddened by this. Affirms my wanting to slow life down philosophy! She also had 2 beautiful little boys. My heart aches for her family. I lost my Dad around this time several years ago!
As I said at the close of my post last year...I hope the next year is full of babies all around. I am excited that ~many~ of the blogs I read include several pregnant women. A few of whom are nearing the end of that LONG 9 month journey. Ironic part is, although you want to speed up those 9 months, once the baby is born-you want time to stand still! Happy Holidays all!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

A year ago!

WOW! Where has time gone? It was a year ago today that I found out I was pregnant with my precious little Carson. I can hardly believe I am sitting here typing as an almost 4 month old baby boy is sleeping. It honestly feels like a month ago...not a year! I feel so blessed again this christmas holiday. Last year I was so blessed to find myself pregnant and was wishing and hoping all would be ok. For those of you that are pregnant, may you have a wonderful christmas preparing for your babies. Those with new babies I am sure will enjoy their first christmas through the eyes' of their children. And, those of you still TTC....I truly hope for you that this christmas or even 2009 brings you the one "gift" that you really want. Happy holidays to all!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


By the way, I have removed a chunk of blogs from my "favorite blogs" sidebar. That is b/c I am now a follower of those blogs and get a reminder when they post something new. Just in case you were wondering!

Amazing Giveaway from a great blogger!

Go to this blog and not only will you find an amazing new blog to add to your list, but she has outdone herself with a fantastic Christmas giveaway for her 100th post!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Ahhhh.... is 9 o'clock and both boys are actually sleeping. We have just recently moved Carson to his crib which is in the same room as Cooper. Carson is now 3 months old and he will ~usually~ do a stretch from 8pm-2 am. Then he eats and sleeps till about 6. My biggest fear is that he will wake up his brother who won't be able to go back to sleep. This is the third night and it is going ok...not great, but ok!

Since Carson was in the NICU at birth, he never latched on for breastfeeding. For 3 months my life consisted of pumping every time he ate so that he could have breastmilk in a bottle. It made for a lot of stress. So, I let my milk dry up. Then this whole melamine thing came out. I was not a happy camper to say the least, and thought of attempting relactation, but decided against. I swear it is always something!

I am having hernia surgery in January from a double hernia that was an added bonus from my pregnancy. Woo hoo! Not excited about that it all. I already had 2 c-sections, and now I am having a 3rd abdominal surgery. Ugh!

Just realized it sounded like I was complaining a lot. is pretty good. I count my blessings everyday. Even though I still believe being a stay at home is super hard, I am happy to spend the time with my beautiful boys. I am really looking forward to Christmas. Now...if I can just get at least one gift bought, I will be happier!

Saturday, November 22, 2008


I know it sounds weird, but I was so excited to have 6 comments! After being gone so long....I felt as though everyone would forget about me. You guys are awesome. So, as motivates me to blog more.

I really just don't know where time goes. Knowing FOR SURE that Carson will be my last baby, I want time to slow down and enjoy every minute. I still can't believe Cooper will almost be 3. It is so fabulous that most of the blogs I followed/follow were all ttc the same time as me. I had that major guilt feeling when I got pregnant and most of you were still ttc. Now, most of you I can happily say are nearing the end of your own pregnancy and it is just thrilling to follow. For those of you still trying, I have faith that you will get your very own BFP!

I will definitely blog more about my upcoming hernia surgery which I am dreading. I also have questions for those of you with little ones of your own. Happy Weekend everyone, and thanks again for reading after all this time! XOXO

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm Ba-ack

Thank you for all who have "checked in on me" over the last couple of months. Life has been INSANE to say the least and I just could not fit blogging in. I have, however, been reading lots of blogs so I am still following all of you. Elaine...I love the name. My first son's middle name is Mason. :) We always have so much in common!

So, Carson is 3 months old today to be exact. It feels like he was born yesterday and a year ago all at the same time. It was also almost exactly a year ago that I conceived him. Where does time go?

I plan to get back into blogging mode b/c I have so much to say. It has been a rollercoaster of a ride, that is for sure. To top it off...I am having hernia surgery in January. A lovely parting gift from my pregnancy.

I hope I still have some readers left. If you do still happen to read me, drop me a one liner and I want to start adding all the blogs I follow to my BlogReader.


Sunday, September 21, 2008


Carson is finally home from his stay at Children's Hospital with pnuemonia. It was a very trying time for me. I am experiencing "baby blues" and I am not sure if it is due to the pregnancy or the enormous amount of stress I am under. The night before we picked up our baby from the NICU, my husband was playing with our 2 year old. He tossed him on the bed. He landed wrong and broke his leg. He is in a full cast. So I am dealing with that, the stress of having a newborn, and trying to heal from my c-section. My husband is gone for 13 hours at a time, so I am basically alone. I do feel overwhelmed. Now, my toddler is sick with a bad cold. I am praying so much that the baby doesn't get it because I don't think I can handle anything else right now. Thanks for keeping all of us in your prayers! You all continue to be in mine although I haven't had time to write or comment much lately. xoxo

Saturday, August 23, 2008


well, sorry i haven't written. thank you so much for your wishes and prayers. carson was born on monday morning at 9:12 am. i will post pics when my husband can help me. after a few hours they realized he was struggling to breathe. the day got worse and worse. after entering the nicu, they kept giving me updates (while i was an emotional wreck for only seeing him a few minutes). after 5 hours, they decided to transfer him via ambulance to our children's hospital about 45 minutes away. it was such a horrible an emotional experience. meanwhile, i had to stay at my hospital to recover from my c section. they let me out early (on wednesday) and we went right to the hospital. we have been traveling back and forth several times a day to see him. we live an hour away so it is a lot of travel time. we also have a 2 year old that we are desperately trying to not leave out. he is not allowed to see his new brother since he is in the nicu, so doesn't quite understand what is going on. the baby is doing better. i have heard so many different diagnosis, but a common one is that he has pneumonia. he has been getting antibiotics twice a day. they even had an iv in his head! it is horrible to see your newborn with so many tubes and monitors. i will continue to update as i have time, but please continue to keep us in your prayers. we need them more than ever! i am so thankful for the nicu nurses. i always read the blog of "searching" and now i see how important and special your job is! people are really thankful for you!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Off to the hospital...

Well it is 5 am on Monday morning. The big BIRTHDAY. No, not mine. I have waited 39 weeks and 3 days in addition to all the cycles of TTC. Wish me luck and please keep us in your prayers. I will update as soon as I have access to a computer, but unfortunately that may not be till I am home!

Friday, August 15, 2008

3 More Days!!!

Not much to report b/c I am getting so anxious and I am trying not to dwell on it. My c-section is scheduled for this Monday the 18th. I have been tired and obsessed with cleaning. I hope to report good news soon upon my return from the hospital next week. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks everyone!

Thursday, August 7, 2008


I haven't been posting much b/c I feel like I am just waiting. A quick update...I was BACK in the ER for a 3rd time on Monday. It was for breathing problems and chest pains. They thought it was asthma but couldn't rule out a blood clot so they had to do a CT scan w/ iodine. I was hysterical. You are talking about someone here who won't even take tylenol for fears of hurting the baby and now I have to undergo radiation. It was a horrible and emotional day, but thank God I didn't have a blood clot! Today was my weekly check up. I am still not dilated and the baby hasn't even dropped. Dr. considered moving up my c section date to friday the 15th which would have thrilled me, but after the not so promising internal he decided to keep monday the 18th. needless to say, i was disappointed. i guess i will spend the next 10 days waiting and nesting. enjoying reading about all of you though!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

ER-Take 2 (and request for recipes!)

I am really struggling to breathe these days and found myself back in the ER last night. I called my ob/gyn because I felt ridiculous having just been there on Thursday. He said to go back though, because if I am not getting enough O2 then obviously neither is the baby. So, they did a NST and baby boy looked good. :) Then I had a breathing treatment. Maybe doc will move my scheduled c-section date up if this continues?????

Hey a girl can wish!

On a side note, I am still totally nesting. My new plan is to make several dishes that freeze well to have once the baby comes. I will be making chili and meatloaf for sure. Does anyone have any recipes that they are willing to spare that they know freeze well? Thanks so much!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Trip to the ER

Before I go any futher...I am okay.

Had my 36 week check up today. I have been having some trouble breathing recently and just chalked it up to another wonderful late pregnancy symptom. When my dr saw me, he immediately said I needed to go to the ER b/c if I was getting enough oxygen, neither was the baby.

Needless to say, it was a huge ordeal with me being 36 (!!!!) weeks and all. They had L & D come down and monitor me while I had various bloodwork and a breathing treatment. I was discharged as having had an asthma attack.

Baby seemed fine. They did a very long NST b/c he wasn't moving too much but heart rate was good. I had several contractions during the 2 hour monitoring, but I have been having a ton of Braxton Hicks.

I am just exhausted. Both mentally and physically. I think this was my body's way of saying...slow down! I really have been doing too much. So, I wait another week. I was supposed to get my first internal check today, but I guess it will be next week.

Hopefully I will have less drama this week! I really better pack my bag sooner than later though!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

still around

hi all...i am still around but haven't been able to blog much. although i am not necessarily writing or commenting, i still steal a few minutes each day to keep updated with all of you. sounds like everyone is doing great which is super exciting with all the first trimester BFPs in my blog folder. i am now about 35 weeks and starting to feel the panic of not being ready. we have decided that we need to move, so in the process of being so tired from pregnancy and having a toddler...i am also preparing our house to put it up for sale. exhausting is an understatement!

not too much new to report. i have a dr appt this thursday and i think i go every week from now on. i haven't seen my dr in a month b/c he was not there for my last appt. i will probably post after my visit.

lots of loving thoughts are with all of you!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Wedding is over!

I have been dreading the wedding that I was in yesterday ever since I found out I was pregnant in December. I didn't want to deal with being so pregnant (33 weeks!), hot, get the picture. After speaking w/ the bride, I realized I wasn't getting out of it. But, I made it. And it is a huge burdon lifted. Financially it was tough (shower, bachelorette party, gifts, dress, alterations, shoes, hair, etc.) since I am not currently working. It was also a lot of time and worrying about things, but now I can relax. Other than doctor appointments, my July calendar is basically open. I wasn't sure if I would be on bed rest or how I'd feel, so I am glad to have this month to just get ready and continue cleaning and organizing. Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sigh of Relief...Part 2

Don't know why the previous post posted w/o anything, but anyway....

U/S went great today. Saw the baby boy of which we finally decided to call Carson. The technician even did a cool 3D scan for us which was so cool. I guess everything was measuring fine and the baby looked great.

Still in the crazy nesting phase and trying to get things "ready", but are you ever really ready?

Such good news going on with the blogs I read. Specifically a new BFP for my BBF (best blogging friend) who I couldn't be happier for. Go over and wish Elaine some good sticky vibes! Nancy, In Search of Morning Sickness, and Waiting in Line are all trucking along beautifully!

Yay! Life is good right now. :)

Sigh of Relief

Friday, June 20, 2008


I have turned into a lunatic. The nonsensical crying continues. My friends used to joke that I was like Chandler from "Friends" who said he was "dead inside" b/c he never cried. That seriously used to be me...I mean, it really took a lot to get me to shed a tear. Now...forget it!

Also, I am nesting like a crazy woman. Almost like I have become obsessed with cleaning. I am so tired, but always want to clean. I can't get to sleep till everything is in its place. Having a toddler and a messy husband does not help the matter.

Had my appointment yesterday, and I am happy to report that it was a 5 minute, uneventful appointment. I do have an u/s next week which I am really looking forward to. It will make me feel a lot better to just know that everything continues to be okay.

The wedding that I am in is this coming week, so I am glad that will be over and done with soon. I have really been dreading it. It will be a long few days.

So....with that I am off guessed it! CLEAN!

I will post after my u/s on Thursday with a report. Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)

Monday, June 16, 2008

2 months and counting!

Yesterday was June 15, and since my c section is scheduled for August 15, I am under the 2 month mark. Amazing! I am down to 2 week appointments. Tomorrow (Tues) would have been 2 weeks but we had scheduling issues, so I have one on Thurs. Although I feel movement, I still love my appointments. Don't ask me why...they seem pretty pointless and last all of 5 minutes, but it is still comforting. I am happy for the uneventful appointments b/c it makes me feel all is well.

The doctors said my eye issue was stress related. Go figure! Actually, I am a bridesmaid in a wedding next Saturday and that is causing me a lot of stress. The reasons sound stupid but between being huge, having to spend a ton of money that I could be using on more important things, and the fear of being so busy and tired that day have made it a giant stressor. I will be glad when it is over. And then it will almost be July....GASP! I feel like there is so much to do and so little time!

I hope everyone has a great Monday and week! I will post more after the appt on Thurs. TTFN!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What is wrong with me? I can't stop crying. Seriously. My husband and I went to the mall tonight, which is something I rarely do. I think I cried 3 times. The main cry (and an example of how stupid I am being) was when I ordered a hot fudge sundae at dairy queen. after my order was finished, the girl told me they were out of hot fudge and was chocolate okay. I asked if it was hot and she said tears came and I didn't want the sundae anymore. No husband ate it.

Part of my problem is that I have something going on with my eye. I don't know if it is an infection or what but it is bothering my 24/7. I went to my PCP today and they weren't sure what was wrong. I am going to attempt to go to an eye doctor tomorrow. The PCP suggested maybe stress and fatigue were bothering my eye, but I KNOW it is something more.

30 weeks tomorrow. Woo Hoo! Feels good to enter the 30's. Wish I felt that way on my birthday last year, lol!

On an end note...congrats to Farah and her beautiful new baby boy!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I feel like I have been waiting for June forever. I am now 29 weeks and I just remember always thinking that June would be like entering the "safe zone." See, I have a few risks for preterm labor, but I am feeling more confident being near 30 weeks. Don't get me wrong...I will feel much better come 36 weeks!
I had an appt today and it went pretty well. I have a planned c section schedule for aug 15 so things feel more real w/ a date being picked. I am down to every 2 weeks for my appointments so that is exciting. And I talked the dr into letting me have another ultrasound later this month. woo hoo!
I am feeling the baby a lot more which is comforting. Also, I have been feeling exhausted. With that being said...I am off to attempt to sleep. Attempt being the key word!
Thanks for the continued well wishes. :)

Monday, May 26, 2008

For Lack of a Better Title...Happy Memorial Day

I feel like there is so much going on in the blogs that I frequent. I want you to know that ALL of you have been in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Although I don't post much, I find myself rushing to my computer to find out the latest on each of you.

Nancy got a BFP from her FET and is truly hoping it doesn't turn out to be ectopic as the beta numbers possibly suggest. Send her some support if you can. Finally it seems that it is Waiting in Line's turn! She got a BFP with twins, but unfortunately has been suffering from hyperemesis gravideram. I sadly know too well the damper this puts on pregnancy as I had it with my first pregnancy. You want to be soooo happy, but while you are vomiting every is quite difficult! It WILL get better! In Search of Morning Sickness also recently got a BFP. She also just had a very Happy Birthday!

In my neck of the woods, things seem to be going well and I am happy to finally have some calm times that I can enjoy this pregnancy. I am now 27 weeks and trucking along. I am sure I will have more to write as I get closer to my due date, but for now I am just trying to be "normal". Lol. Easier said than done!

Good luck to all of you w/ your recent BFPs and for those of you still trying. I keep wishing, hoping, and praying for you too!


Monday, May 12, 2008

Guess who made my day...

I am taking the title of "worst blogger ever" away from in search of morning sickness

I am not even sure why I haven't blogged because I am on this darn computer reading all of your blogs everyday for hours. I am just in a weird place, but it is a good place. I hate to admit that I still have fear, but it is just my personality. I am also getting excited though. I still love doctors appointments and feel like each one is like a little goal to work towards. Next week is my dreaded GD test and rhogam shot.

I am almost 26 weeks pregnant and happy to be entering the 3rd trimester. I have been suffereing from an umbillical hernia that has been getting larger as my belly does. That is probably my biggest complaint, so I am not really complaining. I know it could be worse.

I got the nicest honor from Elaine and it kicked my butt into gear because I was so appreciative of her thinking of me. :)

Elaine gave me the "you made my day award" and if I knew how to link to the pic of it I would. I don't know how, but I still want to pass the award along to a few other fellow bloggers who make my day on a daily basis!

First of all....Elaine! She is the one who got me to blog on this site. It is scary to me how much we have in common! She is the sweetest person and has been in my prayers for so long. She has not been successful in pregnancy YET, but has recently made the decision to foster a child. She even has the possibility of adopting. I continue to cherish her friendship and look forward to following her journey!

Next is Farah. She is several weeks ahead of me in her own pregnancy and I look forward to reading her blog to see what is in store for me. She is also a great commenter! She has had many ups and downs but as she nears the end of her pregnancy it seems everything is going great. I am so excited for her.

I am so thrilled that Amanda is now pregnant and with twins to add to the excitement. She is unfortunately very sick right now, but it is something I can relate to. I am hoping she is better soon!

Finally, I give the award to searching for hope. She is a super commenter as well. I feel for her as life has been rough on her recently, especially with her health. Although she is not currently TTC, her life has revolved around babies and wanting one. I pray that her prayers will one day be answered!

There are certainly other blogs I read, but I feel most connected to these blogs. You all make my day as you let me into a little bit of your life through your writing.

Thanks for sharing! Hugs to you all!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me...

Hi all! Where have I been? I can't believe it's been almost 20 days since my last post! I have been reading all of my favorite blogs everyday, but haven't had much to write. You have all been in my thoughts and prayers though. Some of you have gotten some really great news recently and I wish you congrats! (amanda from congrats!) bloodwork came back and apparently I had been exposed to fifths disease so I did have antibodies to help protect my little peanut. Had my monthly checkup yesterday (23 weeks as of today!) and all seemed to go pretty well. Hernia is getting worse, but will get belly band to help support my stomach. Today (my 31st b-day) I am having major back pain. Praying it goes away SOON!

Since I have last posted, my toddler was sick. Then my husband. Then me. Love the traveling illnesses!

Thinking of you all. Lots of love and luck to you!!!!

Friday, April 4, 2008

And the story continues...

Ugh! I can't wait till I have a nice normal week w/ no issues. It has to be coming soon. I am due.
Long story toddler son has come down w/ fifths disease. It is a very common childhood illness that consists of a fever and a rash. Only is really bad for pregnant women to be exposed to it. It can apparently cause miscarriage or birth defects. Lovely. More to worry about. So off I went today for bloodwork to see if I have the antibodies in my system. I will keep you updated....

Friday, March 21, 2008

It's a...........

First and foremost, I am just happy that the u/s seemed to go well. The sonographer didn't tell me anything negative so I am banking on that. I have my dr appt on Tues to go over everything w/ him.

I am super excited to be having another boy. My annoyance lies in the fact that my mom and husband's mom both voiced disappointment upon being told. We were upset about that. See hubby's bro has 3 boys and is done. My brother has 2 boys and is done. I have a boy and 1 on the way and I am done. I guess they saw the "dream" of a little girl as gone. Oh well! Keep it to yourself and let us be excited!

I finally updated the "about me" section. It is starting to feel real and I am glad. I llook forward to enjoying this Easter weekend. I feel so blessed and thankful. And thanks to all of you for your continued support and prayers!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Blog Update

I have been realizing that I really need to update my blog. Especially the "about me" section where it talks about me still ttc. Even though I will be 18 weeks on Friday, I have not let myself get too excited. It is like I don't want to jinx anything. WEll, I've mostly been waiting for the BIG ultrasound which for me will be on Friday. Most people are so excited to find out the sex. By most people, I mean those who get pregnant so easily and take it for granted. For me (and most of you I know) I just want to find out everything is okay! After that, I will update my blog.

Also, I need to update my blogroll of blogs I read. I am taking a cue from my blog friend Elaine. If anyone out there reads my blog....and you don't see your blog on my blogroll, please drop me a line. I would love to add it. For one, I have checked people's blogs after they commented but never got around to saving it in my favorites. Now, I forget the blogs addresses! Secondly, I like to keep up with stories of people especially those of you who are following along on my journey!

Hope you are all doing well. A bunch of you are starting and IVF cycle this month and you are all in my thoughts and prayers. I will update on Friday. Please say a prayer for me that Friday goes well!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Things are moving along, slowly but surely

Had my appt on Tuesday and I am not exaggerating when I say it lasted all of about 5 minutes. They weighed me, took my bp, asked about any problems (I mentioned the continuous spotting/pressure), dr came in and found heartbeat quickly (puffy heart) and gave me script for u/s. If my other son wouldn't have been acting up so much I would've asked more questions but I just took the appt for what it was. The only "weird" part is that he said he wanted to see me in 2 weeks. Normally I go back every 4. I am not sure why, but I 'll take it! I am hoping it isn't b/c there is a problem he isn't telling me about. I do have my u/s sheduled for next Friday so for now, that is my next milestone I look forward to reaching. I could care less about the sex, but hope and pray that he/she is just healthy. Blessings to you all for a happy weekend!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Just Catching Up

I feel like I have so much to say, but just can't put it into words. I am really looking forward to my doctor appt on Tuesday. A month seems so long in between appointments and this time for me it was only 3 weeks. I read blogs every night, but sometimes I just don't feel like writing. I feel like I am in such a weird place. It is hard to write about pregnancy on an infertility site. It's like you don't want to say anything negative because you know there are so many people who would change places with you in a heartbeat. Nonetheless, I am still having a hard time getting over my anxiety. I have been on moderate bed rest and am hoping that my placenta has moved. Luckily for me, I have been entertained by all the reality tv shows that have been on. I am obsessed with American Idol. I also watch Big Brother, both of which are on 3 nights a week. Helps keep me busy. I am sooooo tired of the snow we have been getting in Pennsylvania. Will spring ever arrive???? Well, I will write on Tuesday I am sure. Hopefully with some good news. :)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Can things ever be easy? Seriously!

I would absolutely love to be writing about how wonderfully boring my pregnancy is. I wish I could say how happy I am to be entering the 2nd trimester-the time when you are supposed to be feeling good. This is not that post, so fair warning not to read on if you have a hard time w/ people "complaining" about their pregnancy.

Let me first say I am thrilled to BE pregnant. has been rough from the get go. After my inexplainable bleeding last week I was partially relieved after my appt. that everything was okay. Then Friday I started feeling this intense pain/prssure in the vaginal area. I refrained from calling my doc's office since it was the weekend, but really suffered all weekend. I called first thing Monday am. They agreed to see me to rule a few things out. My appointment wasn't till yesterday (Tues) and it was the longest wait.

I have placenta previa-I guess the placenta is on or above my cervix which is causing the pain and bleeding. It could move and it coudl not. I never in my life hoped that I had a bladder infection, but right now I am praying I do. The pain is just so bad and they did send a sample in and I am awaiting the results. Dr. said if I do it could be the cause of the major pain. If this is solely from the placenta, it will be a long 6 more months. I am not lying when I say it is difficult to walk or stand.

So now, I wait again. I am resting a lot and just trying to remain calm.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Breathing a Little Easier....

Deep breath....reached 12 weeks on saturday. couldn't celebrate until today though b/c i had some unexplained bleeding on friday night. i couldn't even begin to post about it. i was trying the avoidance method to get my to my appointment which was today.

friday night i was supposed to go play bunco. it was to be my first "night out" in a long time due to being so sick the last several weeks. about an hour prior to leaving...went to the bathroom and had some (tmi coming!) thin clotty dark blood. needless to say, i paniced. called my dr.'s emergency number and was basically told not to worry about it since it stopped. dr said it was probably old blood from cervix and he would see me on tuesday.

what a long weekend! i tried not to worry too much, but that was easier said than done. then to make matters even better, we had a huge snowstorm last night into this morning. my appt was 9 am and there was no way i was missing it. got there after horrible driving conditions.

dr. did an ultrasound and i got to see the baby. he/she was moving and had a heartbeat which made me feel better. he didn't seem too concerned bout the bleeding. pretty uneventful appt. he did say i still have a cyst. (which i am reminded of everyday w/ my pain) but not to worry about it yet. hopefully it will dissolve.

so, i try to relax for a little while and attempt to enjoy this pregnancy. i hope to get caught up with my blog reading and commenting soon. hope you are all doing wonderfullly!

Monday, January 28, 2008

6 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

I have been tagged by Elaine at (I am so sorry...I don't know how to do that linking thing!) Anyhow, the rules are simple: link to the person who tagged you, list the rules in your blog, share six non-important quirks about yourself, tag at least 3 people, and leave those you tagged a comment so they can play too!

So here goes:

1. When I was 21 I went to Atlantic City for the very first time. I actually won 30,000 on a slot machine. Paid off my school loans and saved for my wedding! It was surreal!

2. I am a reality tv junkie. The strike isn't affecting me too much b/c I watch so much reality tv. I love American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Dance War, Bachelor, Real World...the list goes on and on. I am even so pathetic that I watch "Reality Chat" on tv guide network.

3. Due to parents' divorce and remarriages I have 9 siblings. One full brother, 2 half brothers, 4 half sisters, and 2 step brothers. CRAZY! Imagine the family reunions!

4. I like to think I am musically inclined. I sang and played an instrument all through school. I now sing in the church choir and play hand bells. However, I will not be a contestant on American Idol any time soon!

5. I love ethnic foods! If I go out to eat, chances are I will choose either Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, or even Greek restaurants. My favorite are the habachi grills where they cook in front of you.

6. I am a Wizard of Oz fanatic. I have an entire curio cabinet filled with collectibles. I do an entire W of O tree at Christmas time. I pretty much have the movie memorized.

I now tag Moon and Star Mommy who just got a BFP and this will take her mind off things till her next u/s. I also tag In Search of Morning Sickness b/c her husband just got deployed and maybe this will help the time go faster. Finally I tag Nancy who is in the second week of her 2ww.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

1/4 of the way there!

Quick update b/c I have been meaning to write, but truthfully I have just been too sick. NOT THAT I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! But, really the last week has been rough. Last night I spent the night in the emergency room. I was having horrible pains and feared miscarriage. When I arrived they said the cramping was due to severe dehydration. They also did an u/s though (YAY!) and I got to see the lil peanut. Always makes me feel better.

I am so sorry that I haven't been commenting much. I am still reading all your blogs, but commenting has taken a back seat for right now. I have so much I want to say and as soon as I start feeling better you will all probably get a book from me.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night, so this will be all for tonight. By the way...10 weeks down. I like to think of it as a quarter of the way there. As always, thank you so much for your prayers and support. You are all in my thoughts and prayers as well. Good luck as some of you are in your 2 ww and some have an iui planned or just had one done. Sticky vibes!!!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

So Far So Good!

Had my appointment yesterday. I would've written except for the fact that I fell asleep before 8 o clock on the couch and didn't get up till this morning. Probably due to losing so much sleep the previous nights due to stress about my appt. IT was such a relief to have confirmation that there is in fact a baby in my uterus. Teh doctor did an ultrasound and I wouldn't look at the screen until I asked if he saw a heartbeat. He did!

I am feeling so happy, but I can't lie. I am still stressed. Obviously the next 4 weeks will be long. My back is hurting very badly which I fear is a sign of miscarriage, but I am trying not to focus on it.

I am so thankful for all the prayers that I know that many of you have said for me. I am really appreciative.

I will write again when I am not soooo exhausted. It was quite a long day, but I wanted to give a quick update.

Hugs to all!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Still hanging in there!

Well, as far as I know...I am still pregnant. I am over 7 weeks now, but I still haven't physically seen my doc. My appointment is next Monday (the 14th) and it feels soooo far away!

It is difficult to blog. I feel soooo blessed to be where I am, but so worried too. I don't want to write a post that seems like I am complaining. I do have symptoms which is a good thing. While I don't enjoy puking each night, it is a nice reminder. I am, however, going in tomorrow for iv hydration.

I am still reading all of my favorite blogs and I am still thankful for all of my supporters. I will try to write again before my appt. on Monday.


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

So much for me responding to the tag. I actually thought that I clicked on "publish post" but apparently, I didn't. So....when I get bored, maybe I will do it again. But for now, I am just too tired.

I have not been MIA. Thanks for those who ~checked in on me~. I was actually at hubby's parents for our Christmas celebration since Sat. We decided to tell them of the BFP, but told them to be cautiously excited. Also, that we were not ready to share our news. Basically we had to tell them due to my new symptom of...morning sickness. Make that all day sickness. Trust me, I am not complaining! Although vomiting several times a day is not enjoyable, I do know it is a "good sign."

So now I wait for my appointment which not until Jan. 14. It seems SOOOO far away! Thanks for the prayers and sticky vibes. I have made it to 6 weeks. 34 more to go!

Hugs and prayers to all as we enter 2008. I hope all of your dreams come true!